Third Winter
also known as spring in New England. plus, my musings on the division of household labor.
Most New Englanders are ready for springtime come the actual spring equinox. I celebrate third winter through April. In Vermont, town of Killington, we have been blessed with massive amounts of snow this March. As of March 26th the seven day snowfall totaled 40 INCHES! It snowed six times, two of those being whopper storms. In fact, March is historically the snowiest month for Vermont. And then, between the dates of April 3rd — 5th we had twenty-six inches of fresh, fluffy, powdery goods! Basically, it snowed for three days straight.
Between dates, days, inches, and storm count, I just threw a lot of numbers in an intro paragraph. I do hope you’ll keep reading.
Here are a few things I’m into for third winter. [With a couple of photos taken during false spring, which was around March 1st — 3rd when it was warm, rainy, and the driveway snow had melted!]
The Vice Pom Beanie (Bacon) / The Crave Beanie (Pizza) — spring in New England calls for weird beanies and funky trucker hats. Think: tailgating at the lodge parking lot, après skiing in the sun that is soon to duck behind the mountains. These Coal beanies are tight ribbed but with a bit of stretch. I can share them with my kids!
Ironically, Camden does not like pizza. Ryder loves Bacon. Oh and there’s a pink one you probably need that says Rosé.
{Trucker Hats}
Teton Gravity Research (TGR) — I can’t find the rainbow hat but there are so many good decisions to be made there.
FLYLOW usually has a selection I’m into. I love the Undercover Trucker. (My plum purple color is a few seasons old.)
Keep your littles warm (but not hot!) in the spring sun with vests. The Patagonia Down Sweater Vest + Primary Kids Lightweight Puffer Vest are our favorites.
You mean business if you’re tailgating with a couch. The Kelty Low Love Seat Camp Chair has been clutch for about 4 seasons now. I love that they’ve added more colors since I purchased ours — deep lake/fallen rock and dill duffle are speaking to me. See also: A great Father’s Day gift idea!
These are not affiliate links. I genuinely enjoy curating products + sharing what I love and use all the time! The all the time is key for me — basically my way of saying I don’t want to collectively contribute to overconsumption, I just want to share what is practical, useful, fun, and lasts from season to season.
I have probably overconsumed in the beanie / trucker hat department though.
no one
absolutely no one
me
let me show you pictures of snow in April and my collection of hats.
NEXT TOPIC!
There has been a lot of chatter lately on the division of household labor. ➗.
Sometimes I read / hear / listen to something and I have more questions. Namely, there is so much intrigue around the hard time folks are having with the division of labor in their marriages.
Did everyone marry someone unwilling to contribute equally to the labor of running a household?!
Kinder and more affectionately now. Did everyone getting married not understand the mental load that comes with having children? (Yes!) And then, with that invisible load, women did not understand how to articulate their needs? Without sounding needy?
The husbands/partners are not NOT helping, where they might be willing, but they are simply not understanding how to help in the first place, and it needs to be explained to them, so wives are feeling extra burnt to a crisp at this prospect.
After listening to this podcast by
I have gathered that Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play Method for Dividing Household Labor is addressing those loads. Invisible and visible. I like that more and more the mental load of being a Mom is at the forefront of conversation.I did not expect to have this story written in Oct 2022 by
on her experience with household division of labor is so real and insightful. Molly references a NYT article:“What I’m trying to say is, Shearn’s op-ed points to a basic fact that I had to get divorced(!) in order to learn. It’s a fact that changed my life as a woman, something that I cannot and would never wish to unlearn: it is eminently reasonable to expect my partner-slash-co-parent to do an equal share of the tasks required to sustain our family. Maybe the rest of you figured this out long before I did? I hope so, but I also bet not.”
For everyone out there drowning in household chores and kid responsibilities, life management and the unseen load, I genuinely want to understand / ask the questions.
Are the women in marriages where the division of labor hovers at equal the ones we don’t hear from?
Are we living in a society where nagging a partner about basic household functions is the norm?
Is the female mental load so heavy the male partner can’t comprehend it from one day to the next?
Is your husband doing household management items you are not giving him credit for?
The Fair Play Method is a NYT Bestselling book as well as a deck of cards used to divide the labor. I have not read this book.
I pondered this method and quickly came up with — presenting a deck of cards to my husband would feel silly to the level of offending him. Upon further knee-jerk reflection, I don’t need a deck of cards to get him to do a household task and follow through on it.
Our division of labor fell into place without extensivity. Bob reminds me as we talk about this, that we argued about stuff! That I complained about things. So even in bringing up that I wanted to write about this, we dove in!
He knows I wear rose colored glasses. “Don’t make them think everything is perfect and we don’t argue!” I never really felt the division of labor was a heated argument, it is more that these things can be a messy discussion point.
OK STILL. I think the division of labor is working like a well-oiled machine over here. I hope I’m not a delulu but I usually feel good about it.
I love learning and accepting of what works for another family — because there are multiple truths to getting it done. That is why I am asking the questions. And why I am sharing.
For me it is about understanding how you run optimally, even if in an unconventional way. I am a huge proponent for living more life amongst all that we have to do to manage it.
Paid subscribers receive the rest of this musing: My gut instincts on this hot topic, plus an in depth look into how the labor is divided in my household. And why I did not need a deck of cards to do it!
We each just do the things we do, start-to-finish, execution to completion*. None of this felt novel or hard fought to me, but it probably was (at times)!! To me, we just do it.
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